This year, three school board members are up for re-election. If the Caldecott case is still hot, and/or if Frederick Navarro is still the Superintendent, the campaign may be difficult. But there is a way for at least one of the three incumbents to get re-elected. In fact, it’s easy.

First step: Watch “Casablanca” starring Humphrey Bogart. You don’t have to watch the entire movie, just the part where Claude Raines shuts down Bogart’s nightclub, claiming that he is “Shocked!” to find that gambling is taking place there.

Second step: Watch the “shocked” scene repeatedly while you rehearse the same expression of righteous indignation. You will need this skill in a later step. Here’s the link:

Third step: Take either hand, place it behind your back and feel around for the bony vertical thing running down the middle. That’s called your “spine” and you will need it in a future step as well.

Fourth step (And here’s where it gets tricky): Use a school board meeting to declare that you are Shocked! to discover the breadth and depth of the allegations by John Caldecott and that you had no prior knowledge of them because you were not given the full scope of the situation prior to your approval of Caldecott’s termination without giving him a hearing.

Fifth step (You’re still at the meeting): Take off your shoe and pound it repeatedly on the dais while you insist on an immediate, open, independent investigation of Caldecott’s claims. Add that if this investigation does not begin with 7 days, you will personally ask the district attorney to look into the matter.

Sixth step: Sit back and enjoy the admiration of the public as they proclaim you the champion of the board – the person who knows injustice and seeks to right this terrible wrong.

This can’t miss, I know it.

Steve Smith